When I was early in my career as an Agile coach, I have a vivid memory of talking to my manager. I was struggling with something that was happening on the project. We had a very difficult executive who didn’t want to hear the wisdom of the team. Frustrations were high.
I explained what was happening and expressed disappointment in the executive and how they were treating us. And my manager said, “What if we start with the believe that they have good intentions? Instead of assuming they are setting out to be difficult.”
Stunned. I was set back. Wasn’t I being empathetic? Had I missed an angle? I realized I’d assumed ill-intent from the get go, and that was where the struggle was born.
I have not perfected the technique by any means but that lesson stuck with me. And today, I see a lot of struggle happening. In our society. In our politics. In our social media spaces. And I just wonder, what could it be like if we all stopped and applied the prime directive to every day life. The prime directive is a statement that is often used to open a retrospective. It states:
“Regardless of what we discover, we understand and truly believe that everyone did the best job they could, given what they knew at the time, their skills and abilities, the resources available, and the situation at hand.”
–Norm Kerth, Project Retrospectives: A Handbook for Team Review
How often do you start with the belief that everyone is doing the best they can? Is it easier to do with some than others? How do you imagine things would change in our discussions if we did start the belief that people are coming from a place of good intentions?
It could be a powerful amplifier for change. I’m willing to start there at least. With belief.