The saying goes, “Dance like no one is watching.” Okay, sure. But what if you are performing for people who ARE watching? I suppose if you dance from the heart that would be interesting for anyone to watch. But honestly, sometimes it’s just not. I’m not trying to be critical but really if someone gets up to perform I have a minimal expectation that they aren’t going to get up there and just sway to the music, as if no one is watching. At the minimum, I expect to see some interaction and some engagement with the audience in addition to the swaying—saying nothing about skill and execution.

I danced last weekend, and I think the performance was pretty good. I’m happy with it. It was a troupe piece. Now, I’ve been asked to perform again on Thursday, a solo this time. I picked some music that I think people will like. I’ve danced around to it a bit. But I’m feeling uninspired to perform for people at this point in my pregnancy. It’s not that I don’t feel beautiful or creative; it’s that I don’t want to get up there and just sway to the music, which is all I’m starting to feel physically capable of at this point. My dancer integrity says, it is important to provide quality entertainment, beyond speculation as to whether I’m going to go into labor or not.

I love to dance and I want to continue to dance until the baby is born, but I want to dance like no one is watching because no one is watching—literally. I want to sway to the music and sing to the baby, but I don’t want to put on glitter and coins and waddle my butt on stage.

There are times in life when it’s important to challenge your self and get over your fears. To push your boundaries and face the fact that it’s not just not that serious and traumatic and to have fun. Then there are times when you need to keep a little in reserve for yourself. Make things quiet, introspective and personal. For me, this is a new lesson. I’ve done the exhibition, now it’s time to embrace the inhibition. I hate to say no, especially after I’ve said yes—but as a performer I feel it’s fairer to the audience that I be honest with myself and my body and sit this one out.